REMARKS ON ACCEPTANCE OF THE DEAN’S AWARD/
DEDICATED TO STELLA TONGOUR/ MARCH 22, 2013
Thank you, Dean Fitzpatrick.
I feel more grateful to USC than I feel deserving of this award. It has taken
what my former boss, Senator Alan Simpson, calls “creeping maturity” to
understand that USC, and specifically the College of Arts and Sciences, was really
a crucible for my life, and changed it in such a positive way. But I didn’t fully realize that when I was
younger. In retrospect, USC provided an excellent balance of solid academics, along
with practical experience in government and politics which greatly influenced
my future career. Importantly, it was
fun, and it was where I made many life-long friends.
I remember coming here nearly
40 years ago, and thinking how intimidatingly huge Columbia was. I was scared to drive in all this traffic. But
my anxieties didn’t last long. I met
students and professors from all around the country and the world, who provided
a broader exposure to life. I had great professors
like Blease Graham, John Stucker, and Don Fowler, whom I am pleased is here tonight. They combined the best of academia and a keen
real world understanding. They encouraged
my involvement in campaigns and political organizations. I was able to work at the SC State House for
the legendary Speaker Solomon Blatt. There,
I observed/learned much about the legislative process. (I also learned what Old
Crow and branch water was). I learned
about leadership in my college fraternity and in the IFC. I also learned that
you could have a good time and also do well academically. So for these and many
other reasons, I am grateful to USC.
I am also grateful and
humbled when I look around this room and see such wonderful friends, teachers (like Margie Claytor and Lu Richardson),
mentors from every stage of my life. There are friends here from Barnwell, from my
college days, from law school, from Washington, including Congressman Joe
Wilson and his wife Roxanne, friends from Haynsworth Sinkler Boyd, and of
course my family—my wonderful wife, Lalie, Furman grad (graduating a bit later
than I), our kids, Jack, Alec, and Stella, Lalie’s mom, Louise, her dad, Ron,
and his spouse, Barbara.
Please don’t think my life at
USC was totally idyllic. I experienced something
here that could easily have been the inspiration for a sit com. A little
background: My mother, Stella, regularly
introduced herself as “Michael’s mom”. I
always appreciated her love, but she was almost too attentive. She was living
in war torn Europe when she finished the French equivalent of high school, but,
unfortunately, had no opportunity to
further her education. My parents immigrated to the US in 1950. My mother’s dream was to teach. Of course, she couldn’t without a college
degree. When USC’s Salkehatchie Regional campus, near Barnwell, opened its
doors in the mid 60’s, she (accompanied by her friend Mary Griner, who is here
tonight) began the journey for her dream.
She took one course per semester until she finished whatever
Salkehatchie could offer. Then, you
guessed it, she spent nearly three years commuting to Columbia to finish her
degree. And that is precisely when things got complicated for me! Her timing was painful because those were also three of the four years which I spent as an undergraduate at
Carolina. It’s very hard to be a big man on campus when your mother seems to
show up everywhere. Imagine the
embarrassment of your professor announcing to a huge class that “Michael
Tongour’s mother is at the door and apparently needs his assistance with her car”. Or coming to your fraternity house and
finding your mother taking a break there between her classes, and showing your
fraternity brothers your childhood pictures.
Or one awful day, going to the first day of a class, and realizing that
your mom would be your classmate. On my
entry, she immediately leaped out of her desk to give me a hug. I decided to drop
that class.
As I said, although I liked
my time here, I was too young to truly appreciate it. But my mother was about the same age as I am
now when she finished here, and she was wise enough to know just what a great
opportunity she had. Because of her
past, she also understood deprivation, which I never experienced. I don’t think
a student ever loved Carolina more than she did. Unfortunately, mom died last year. I really miss her.
What I have in my hand is her
scrapbook. The title is “My College
Memories”. There are pictures of her in front of campus buildings, pictures of
her friends, pictures she took of her favorite professors, her Phi Beta Kappa certificate, her President’s
Honor Roll certificates, and finally photos in her graduation cap and
gown. My mom was a life- long
student. She went on to get a Master’s
degree in education, and achieved her goal of being a teacher. She tutored
students all the way until the last years of her life.
As a 19 or 20 year old, I
guess I could be forgiven for feeling uncomfortable with my mother being such a
presence in my college life. But as I prepared for tonight, I thought “what I
wouldn’t give to spend one day with her on campus.”
Most of our guests tonight knew
my mother. You know she would have loved being here. And likely, she is!
So I am pleased to accept
this award, but dedicate it to the loving memory of Stella Tongour, USC, Bachelor
of Arts, magna cum laude 1977.
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http://thepeoplesentinel.com/node/65354
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